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Archive for May, 2010

It bugs me. It BUGS me, period.

So, WHAT exactly bugs me? The “cave in” attitude that so many wedding-related vendors have! From Mindy Weiss to your average wedding planner, everybody wants the bride to give in to somebody’s else idea of her wedding. ┬áTherefore, they start telling her “relax, something will go wrong on your wedding day”, or “choose your battles” (as in: give in to mom’s or MIL’s demands), and so forth.

Now, I don’t get it.

A wedding is a celebration of the love between TWO individuals, the ONLY two entitled to take any decision insofar the wedding itself. That encompasses how much to spend, who to invite, what to wear, how to decorate and so on. In this time of “equal opportunity” and “gender equality”, I am appalled that a category of customers can be talked by professionals into giving in to their parents.

So dear wedding-related vendors, NO the wedding isn’t about giving in, quite the contrary. The wedding planning time is a wonderful occasion to find out what a bride and a groom think about finances, friendships, music and decor. It’s the first big thing they build together, it’s about their dreams and hopes. It is NOT about the parent’s, the in-laws’, the vendors’ ideas of what a wedding is or should be. To tell it like it is, they have NO BUSINESS interfering with these decisions. All they can do is to witness the event and – possibly – take a supporting role.

And you dear wedding planners, NO, the bride isn’t a stupid woman to railroad into your idea of what a wedding is or should be. If you don’t like the bride or her idea, tell her you aren’t a fit but avoid patronizing her, or – worse – judging her dreams from the pedestal of your “professionalism”.

And, finally, you dear brides SPEAK UP. It’s time to stop being daddy’s little girl (you’re an adult, remember???), find your voice and work hard for your dreams. Who cares if your mom or your MIL pesters you to include a guest or to change color palette? JUST SAY NO rather than ranting and moaning as if your lack of assertiveness didn’t play a part in it. Have the guts and the courage to fight for what makes you happy OR stop blaming it on parents, friends and wedding-related vendors.

Btw, vendors. I don’t want to hear that “something will go wrong” unprofessional line EVER again. How many times have you heard a doctor, an engineer, a lawyer, a CPA saying “relax something will go wrong”? NEVER. And you know why? Because it’s just SO not professional.

And the saddest part is that you know it only too well.

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Exactly my thoughts about the absurdity of setting a budget first and then running around asking for discounts…

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